Hugo's Ball Rules

Life lessons from playing fetch

Hello fellow hoomans: Hugo wanted me to share some more of his insights around Ball, his favourite passion. Now that we have some extra time, I promised to put these insights to paper. And share more Hugo photos. I hope you enjoy them or find them useful. Hugo asks me to tell you he’s also taking requests for advice.

Ball Rule #1: The best Balls are slightly ruined and dirty.

The perfect Ball is suspicious. And it always tastes funny too. The best ones have stories that I can smell.

Imperfections make things more valuable.

Rule #2: Always have a backup Ball.

I have emergency Balls hidden under every chair and sofa, our car, and even dog parks where I have left them. I have experienced shortages and there is no worse feeling than an empty blue Chuck-It and my hoomans can’t find Ball.

Redundancy is a key to resilience.

Ball Rule #3: Bring a ball to every social occasion.

Ball goes everywhere with me. Ball helps me meet new hoomans and dogs. I can network at the dog park, on the trails, at the beach, or even at the vet. Everyone likes Ball. Except for the squirrels and birds. They are strangely indifferent to Ball and I don’t understand this.

Always bring something that helps you make friends.

Ball Rule #4: The best part is waiting for the throw.

I love the part of fetch when my whole body knows Ball is about to fly. Sometimes my hoomans tease me pretending to throw it. Sometimes I even run ahead with excitement. This is maybe the best part of the whole game.

Anticipation is one of life’s most underrated pleasures.

Ball Rule #5: Sometimes you have to let go of Ball.

I dislike this lesson. I do not endorse it. But occasionally I must drop Ball to get something better. Like a treat, or another ball. Likewise, I have learned I cannot carry two balls in my mouth. I have tried and been defeated by the discriminatory physics.

Everything involves trade offs, so choose wisely.

Ball Rule #6: Sometimes Ball goes in the bushes.

This is disappointing but I do not lie down and think about Ball. Instead I charge into the bushes to hunt for Ball. With effort, I almost always find Ball. Occasionally I come out with a stick instead, which is also acceptable.

You miss finding 100% of Balls that you don’t try to find.

Ball Rule #7: Sharing Ball usually works out.

Sometimes another dog gets Ball. Sometimes multiple dogs keep taking Ball when I’m playing fetch. This feels like communism. Yet often they bring it back. Or let me use their Ball. Or I get a chance to chase them.

Trust and reciprocity is important.

Ball Rule #8: There is always another throw.

I have never once thought “Well I missed that one. My ball career is over”. No I just try again and again and again.

Mistakes do not matter as much as the next opportunity.

Ball Rule #9: Throwing Ball makes more than one happy.

Hoomans think they’re doing me a favour when they throw Ball. This is incorrect logic however. The truth is I have given them a purpose.

Generosity benefits both sides.

Ball Rule #10: The point of Ball was never Ball.

This is difficult for me to admit. Hoomans think Ball is my greatest passion. But if I am being honest, Ball is not. It is just a technology I use to spend time with dogs and hoomans I love.

The object isn’t the point. Connection is the point.

FINAL THOUGHTS

You should maybe think about what is Ball in your life.

PS: If you find Ball under the couch, I would appreciate your assistance. I can see it. I just cannot reach it. Someone really needs to speak to a manager of sofas about fixing this terrible design flaw.

Thanks for Reading!
Canada Resists