Can't Leave the US? Are You Sure?

I want to address something that I keep hearing. It’s the expressed feeling of being stuck in the U.S. Not by choice, but because of matters such as money, health, caregiving, or just being overwhelmed. People post comments such as “I can’t leave”, “no country will take us”, or “I’d love to have an exit plan, but I’m too broke/old/have kids in school’.

I would like to do a few things here to address this issue, but I’m going to break it into two articles. In this first article, I want to gently nudge those who see themselves in the “I can’t leave” camp so that they might conclude that they more accurately belong in the “I don’t want to leave” camp or the “I don’t know how to leave” camp. Keep in mind, as I noted in my last article on exit strategies, I’m not suggesting people should move, but that they would greatly benefit psychologically by having an exit strategy (even if they never act upon it). Coming up with an exit strategy gives you back control, autonomy and choice. It can lower your anxiety and give you energy to forge ahead to resist harmful government actions.

In the second article, I will offer some ideas for those genuinely in the “I really can’t leave” camp. These suggestions will help to give you more control over your situation and help you to weather whatever negative events may be coming around the corner. You may not be able to leave, but you can build some figurative tents to keep yourself dry for the storm ahead.

Are You Genuinely in the “Can’t Leave” Camp?

Photo by Benny Liu on Unsplash

Have a look at these statements and see if one applies to you. Alignment with one of them might just mean you aren’t in the “Can’t Leave” camp after all.

1. You don’t want to leave. Fair enough point! It’s your country, you want to fight for it, so why would you leave? And I would say do not. BUT still have an exit strategy. Not wanting to leave is quite apart from not being able to leave. I strongly believe you can fight, and even fight better, by having an exit strategy. An exit strategy that you may never need hopefully. Butif things ever reached an unimaginable point where your well being was at stake, having a plan will be critical.

2. No country will take you. I hear this a lot, especially from retired folks. It is true that it can be difficult to find a country very similar to the US that takes ordinary income retirees. Canada and the UK, for example, do not currently offer retirement visas. However, if you can consider going outside your comfort zone, you will find many places that welcome you, from Thailand to Ecuador, Guatemala, Portugal, and even Ireland. These are just a random few but google “retirement visas” and you’ll see your options. These are places with strong expat communities of similar others where you can get by in English. Moreover, you can live well on your US income, and many they offer affordable and effective healthcare.

   For those not retired, there are a number of possibilities. You may want to read my article on pathways to Canada as a place to start as it is one of the easiest places to move if you are of working age or if you can consider going back to school in Canada. Another possibility for the lucky ones who can secure a remote US job, you will find lots of options with the countries that offer digital nomad visas. For some other lucky souls, you may want to look at whether you can secure citizenship in another country through your ancestors.

   The main point I would make here is please do not assume you cannot find another place to live without first doing some investigative work.

3. You don’t have a lot of money. Also a very valid point. It takes money to change countries. Can you save for flights? Can you sell your home? How much are your vehicles worth? Keep in mind, it is often more expensive to live in the US than many countries that you could move to. It isn’t the rich that move to friendly expat countries, but often those who value a less expensive place to live. This can be especially pertinent if you are retired on a fixed income: your money goes a whole lot further in places like Thailand, Mexico or Guatemala. And if you are dependent on social security, or social security disability insurance, these are accessible outside the US.

4. It’s too scary, complicated or overwhelming to consider. Making an exit strategy can be challenging, and actually moving can be even more so. But you would not do it overnight. When faced with a very large goal, it is critical to break it into small, manageable, concrete steps. What is the first step you can take in this direction? And what is the second? And keep in mind again this fact: You can make an exit strategy without having to actually move. Check out my last article on exit strategies to gently explore the possibilities, and see what you think. Start small, no commitment. And don’t forget to check out YouTube. You’ll find lots of expats sharing their positive and negative experiences from which you can learn. Please remember this: You have way more ability and courage than you might realize.

Promoting a Promotion Focus

Psychology research has identified the tendency for people to gravitate toward either a ‘promotion focused’ or ‘prevention focused’ orientation when it comes to goals and decision making. Those leaning into a promotion focused approach tend to look for opportunities and aim to maximize their positive outcomes. It’s a glass is half-full approach that’s not held back by potential roadblocks. Those taking a prevention focused orientation focus on noticing problems to limit risk, losses and negative consequences to themselves. During uncertain times or high-risk contexts, such as now, people are more likely to be prevention focused than they might typically be in other contexts.

But I’d like to encourage you to reframe things toward a more promotion focused orientation. That is, what might you gain from looking into exit strategies? What might be some of the exciting possibilities of the adventure of a new country? How might exploring your choices in the world be good for your physical and mental well being? Rather than paying attention to potential barriers and impossibilities, it may help to take a more exploratory and optimistic approach to this challenge.

If you’ve read this far and you are still certain you cannot leave- maybe due to disability, caregiving responsibilities, or other serious barriers- please accept my apologies. You are in such a challenge position right now and my heart goes out to you. And my next article is for you: I hope you will find some benefit in that next article where I will focus on things you can do to give you more control and plan for an uncertain future when an exit strategy isn’t possible. Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading!
Canada Resists